Happy Birthday Mom

It’s my mom’s birthday today. 

At my wedding, July 5th 2008

My mom and I are very different people. She is glowing and effervescent, always the life of the party, and a self-proclaimed social butterfly. I, on the other hand, am introverted, reserved,  and so shy that it borders on anti-social. Despite these differences, we somehow fit together. 

This past July, I gave birth to my first child, a daughter, named Sophie Juliette. That day, for the very first time, I experienced a mother’s love for her child. It was extraordinary. 

The Greeks first used the word φιλότεκνος, ον to describe such love: philoteknos, meaning “loving one’s children.” This word appears once in the New Testament, in Titus 2:4:

That they may train the young women to love [philoteknos] their husbands, to love their children.

Titus 2:4, emphasis mine

Because the word only appears once in the entire NT, it is more difficult for scholars to settle on an exact definition. It has been said that philoteknos encompasses the efforts of child training, biblical eduction, self control, respect of parental authority, God’s authority, and teaching the child to love Jesus above all else. This kind of love can only truly be felt by believers of the Gospel. 

Grandma SR and Baby Sophie, a few minutes after she was born, 7/8/10

On vacation in Florida, November 2010

There is another kind of Biblical love, phileo, which is best described by Joseph Henry Thayer:

'Phileo' is a love which consists of the glow of the heart kindled by the perception of that in the [person] whom affords us pleasure. It is the response of the human [soul] to what appeals toit as pleasurable...The word was used to speak of friendly affection. 

The New Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament, 1981. 

This is the fervid, soul-ish love I feel for my mother. Now, I cannot claim that she is the perfect mom; after all, what woman can truthfully stake such a claim? What I can say, however, is that she has given me all of her self; emotional strength, even when she had none left to give, undeserved understanding and acceptance, and even her last shred of dignity when I needed to step on it. She learns my needs and constantly fulfills them. She is my biggest fan, whether it be on the tennis court, Step 1 Test Day, or my daily struggle as a new mom. She is the pillar to whom I cling in my darkest hours, when I crawl into her bed and let her stroke my hair and scratch my back until I fall asleep. 

Last week, my mom was telling me about her retirement plans, and somehow we got to the subject of parents dying. She mentioned that she felt close to her parents, especially her mother, having been the youngest (and most pampered) of ten children. They’ve been dead for almost 20 years now. She said something like “Its amazing how little I think about them now, and they were my parents.” I knew she was thinking of her own mortality, as she and my dad have been saying for years now that they “probably only have a good 10-15 years left.” I kept quiet, I hate talking/thinking about my parents dying. Truthfully, I often pray that I will die before my parents (and my husband, for that matter) to avoid such agonizing, eviscerating suffering. Such a selfish prayer I know...but it terrifies me. Whatever the Lord’s will is for their lives and mine, I pray He will be enough to sustain me. 

But for now, I thank God for another year of my mom’s life. Another year of enjoyed friendship, of celebration with a new granddaughter, of her ever-constant love and encouragement. 


Happy Birthday Mom. Thank you...for everything. I love you.